First Man? More Like Worst Man: One Small Step For Man One Waste Of Two Hours For Me

I was so excited to see First Man. I love movies about space. Whether they are biographical or realistic fiction, I tend to buy into whatever it is and enjoy the heck out of it. Interstellar, Apollo 13, Passengers, Life, The Martian, Armageddon; all space movies that I have enjoyed watching in the last few years. To have a movie come out, a biopic, about the first man to walk on the moon (Oh damn, that’s where they got the title from), it is pretty needless to say I was intrigued.

However, this movie was TERRIBLE. I never say that. I will watch pretty much anything made after 1998. I have seen Sahara at least five times and will watch that over and over again. This movie wasn’t even as good as Sahara. Gosling portrayed a depressed man without a personality. I do not even care if that is what Neil Armstrong was like as a person. I don’t want to watch that shit for two hours.

This movie had all of the pieces to be a really enjoyable film. You had the guy from Orange is the New Black with the mustache, Marnie’s first boyfriend from Girls, the bald bad guy from Ant Man, the main guy from the second planet of the apes in the current universe of apes movies, coach from Friday Night Lights (TV Show), and a guy that looks like the yelling army guy from Full Metal Jacket. That is a recipe for a super fun action packed space movie. There should have been fun training montages. There should have been guys goofing around. All of these actors have been enjoyable to watch in some way or another. Instead… we get Gosling moping around.

If you think you might want to watch this movie at some point, don’t do it. You’re in for a few hours of one of the greatest human achievements of all-time being turned into a bummer of a story. Save yourself the trouble, go watch Sahara on TBS.

– Buzz

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