The Ultimate Guide To Which Movies Are Worth Your Time This Summer – 2019

I have already seen the movie I was looking forward to most this year, Avengers: Endgame.  It did not disappoint.  Looking ahead to this summer – many movies are going to be released that will disappoint.

I wanted to keep track of the movies that are coming out, and which movies I actually wanted to see.

Here is the ultimate guide to which movies are worth your time between Memorial Day and Labor Day 2019:

Movies I Do Not Care About

Aladdin (May 24)

Big time do not care on this one. I have not bought into the Disney-Live-Action-Remakes. The last time I cared about Aladdin it was a video game for Super Nintendo. Guess what? My brother beat that game in a single game. What a waste of $60.

Godzilla: King of Monsters (May 31)

This has the makings for an epic movie that I do not care about at all. I am not a big monster guy. This straight-up looks dumb. I will watch it at some point, but I don’t need to see this in theaters.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 (June 7)

Do not care. I haven’t even watched the trailer.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (June 7)

I have not watched an X-Men movie in years. I will watch X-Men again when Disney reboots it with Marvel. Congrats to Sansa for getting her own movie though.

Men In Black: International (June 14)

I actually love that Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth are in this, I love their chemistry as Thor and Valkyrie. This is something I will probably watch eventually. Just not an immediate must watch for me.

Shaft (June 14)

Samuel L. Jackson is a terrible actor. He is always Samuel L. Jackson. I don’t need to see this. However, put an eyepatch on him and call him Nick Fury and I’m in.

Child’s Play (June 21)

I will be up for watching this around Halloween – in my house. Do not need to go to the theater for it. I scare easily. Also, how is Aubrey Plaza playing a mom? If there were any moms that looked like that on my dating apps I would change my preferences.

The Lion King (July 19)

See above for what I wrote about Aladdin. I might be even less excited for this because there are not human actors in it. At least Aladdin has Will Smith as the Genie.

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (July 31)

Yikes. Actually I am probably more willing to watch this than Lion King. Michael Peña and Eva Longoria could be fun parents in this.

The New Mutants (August 2)

This does have Maisie Williams (Arya Stark), but like I said before – I will give X-Men a shot when Disney reboots it.

Artemis Fowl (August 9)

A book that I have in my classroom library that I have never read. I do not have much interest in this, but I will probably watch it with my students at some point.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (August 9)

I checked this book out from the library as a kid because it had a cool cover. I never read it. I will probably give this a shot around Halloween on-demand.

Angry Birds 2 (August 14)

I actually enjoyed the first Angry Birds movie. It absolutely did not call for a sequel.

Movies I Care About

Rocketman (May 31)

I am a sucker for music-based biopics. I think Taron Edgerton will be great in this role and this will be a fun movie.

Toy Story 4 (June 21)

Of course. Key and Peele will be a good addition to the voice cast along with Tony Hale.

Yesterday (June 28)

This is a really interesting concept for a movie. I am excited for this.

Spiderman: Far From Home (July 2)

I loved Spiderman: Homecoming. I think that Tom Holland plays a great Peter Parker. I would really like to see where the Marvel Universe will be at following Avengers: Endgame.

21 Bridges (July 12)

The Black Panther playing a detective. Hell yeah.

Stuber (July 12)

A stupid comedy that I will watch once but really enjoy. Probably along the lines of Game Night or any other Jason Bateman comedy from the last 5 or so years.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (July 26)

Leo and Brad. Yaaaaaaas.

Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw (August 2)

This will be the most enjoyable movie theater experience of the summer. Mark my words. A dumb action-comedy with The Rock, Jason Statham, and Idris Elba.

Good Boys (August 16)

Im intrigued. Written by Seth Rogen.

Final Thoughts

Kind of a dud of a movie summer coming up to be honest. The movies I am most looking forward to are:

  1. Spiderman: Far From Home
  2. Yesterday
  3. Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw
  4. Toy Story 4
  5. Stuber

*Gerard Butler is also releasing the third movie in his “Has Fallen” trilogy. Sadly the trailer has not been released yet. Therefore, it was excluded from consideration.

– Buzz

Jonesing For A Thronesing: Episode Three Thoughts And Episode Four Predictions (4/29)

YAAAS QUEEN! WE ARE FINALLY MOVING THIS PLOT ALONG!

I was very excited for this episode and it did not disappoint. I had a hard time seeing things – I am not sure if that was intentional or if the TV at my parent’s house doesn’t have the correct calibration.

Thoughts on Episode Three:

*Stormin’ Mormon =SM, Tommy Nuggets = TN, Buzz = B

SM:

  • What the eff just happened?
  • Night King went out quick 
  • What army are they going to fight with in King’s Landing?
  • For sure thought Ned Stark was going to pop out when Sansa and Tyrion were hiding behind his tomb.
  • Sam and Gilly literally have no point for me anymore.
  • No way in hell Sam should have survived.
  • Arya is going to die now to inspire Jon and Sansa – she can’t kill both villains.
  • Nine seasons of White Walkers ends on a sneak attack.
  • Thought the Night King was going to kneel to Bran or something crazy.
  • What have Bran’s powers really done for anyone at this point? Seems useless now.

TN:

  • OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMGKHMOGOMYOYM
  • Arya done F’d shit up hard.
  • “What do you say when you look death in the face…” – she’s going to kill the Night King.
  • Gendry disappeared that episode.
  • Good job by GOT for tricking everyone over the last 8 seasons into thinking that the Night King and the Wight Army were more than a diversion to the real issue…Cercei.
  • Mass carnage at Winterfell and nobody truly important died.
  • Where did Bran send those Ravens???

B:

  • The opening scene was awesome. You could feel the tension. When the Dothraki went off into the darkness and you saw their lights slowly disappear was incredible.
  • I liked the idea of Theon going to protect Bran. However, it did not make sense to have archers guarding him on level ground in close range. They had a tree right there, maybe put archers in the tree?
  • When the Night King showed up at the castle, and raised all of the dead in front of Jon, that was pretty epic.
  • Theon attacking the Night King was a good way to show he got his “balls” back, but that was almost laughable to run at him from that far away with a spear.
  • Is Theon not actually dead? “What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger”
  • I was really surprised how many main characters survived this battle.
  • It was awesome when Arya came jumping out of the darkness at the Night King, I said “Oh no!” out loud when he grabbed her neck, and I was relieved when she killed him.
  • Rule of TV – something is only dead if you see it die. Dragons are fine.

Episode 4 Predictions

SM:

  • Euron proposes.
  • Other dragon not dead. (duh)
  • Some army not part of the North comes to aid them.
  • Bran wargs into someone in King’s Landing to get insider info.
  • Deaths: Bron, Jamie, Podrick.

TN:

  • Cercei killed by Jamie
  • Jamie killed by the Mountain
  • The Mountain killed by the Hound
  • Daenarys will die eventually.
  • Euron killed by Yara.
  • Bron killed by Tyrion.
  • Sansa and Tyrion (still married) become wardens of the North.
  • Jon on the Iron Throne.
  • Varys is Hand of the King.
  • Arya and Gendry sail west together.
  • Gery Worm and Missandre make it to Narth
  • Brienne and Tormund get together!
  • The Hound leaves to parts unknown.

B:

  • We are going to have another set-up episode.
  • All the main characters at Winterfell will re-group.
  • Cercei and Euron will begin to plan their attack.
  • We will not get an explanation from Bran about the Night King.
  • Arya will kill Cersei by the end.
  • No more Starks will die.

How We Fared With Previous Predictions

SM: 0 – 6

  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about their actual relationship. WRONG
  • They kick Jamie out of Winterfell and don’t let him help. WRONG
  • Jamie turns into the new Hodor as he pays his debt to Bran. Undecided
  • One or some of the Dudes who were at Last Hearth get caught by the Night King and are held hostage – but not turned. WRONG
  • Cersei is not pregnant. Undecided
  • We hear the Night King Talk. WRONG
  • Night King is not at Winterfell – he is going to take out the Golden Company and make them slaves. WRONG
  • Cersei has to go ask The North for help. WRONG

TN: 13 – 3

  • Jon reveals who he is to Daenarys. CORRECT
  • No key deaths this week. CORRECT
  • Brienne gets “Knighted”. CORRECT
  • Ghost makes an appearance. CORRECT
  • Theon arrives in Winterfell. CORRECT
  • Jamie is accepted in Winterfell after Brienne vouches for him. CORRECT
  • The episode is a major lead-up to Episode 3. CORRECT
  • The Dead rise in the crypts of Winterfell. CORRECT
  • The good guys win, but barely and it’s very costly (almost decimated). CORRECT
  • The Night King flies to King’s Landing to create another army. WRONG
  • Episode 3 Deaths: Breinne WRONG , Podrick WRONG, Beric CORRECT, Ed CORRECT, Theon CORRECT, and Jorah CORRECT

B: 3 – 8

  • Jamie is about to get kicked out of Winterfell – Bran is able to convince everyone to let him stay. Not Quite
  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about his true identity. WRONG
  • The Night King is going to the Crypts first, he is going to raise the dead down there and infiltrate Winterfell that way. Not Quite
  • Theon redeems himself by protecting Bran.
  • Jamie dies, sacrificing himself for Brienne. WRONG
  • Other deaths: The Hound WRONG, Eye Patch Guy CORRECT, Tormund WRONG, Podrick WRONG, Davos WRONG, Gilly WRONG, Jorah CORRECT, and Lyanna CORRECT.
  • Bronn arrives in Winterfell, just in time to save Tyrion. WRONG

Jonesing For A Thronesing: Episode Two Thoughts And Episode Three Predictions (4/23)

Dang – another filler episode. Quite a few loose ends were tied up – now we have to be moving on to the good stuff, right?

Thoughts on Episode Two:

*Stormin’ Mormon =SM, Tommy Nuggets = TN, Buzz = B

SM:

  • Daenarys is a B and weird for caring more about the throne than nagging her cousin (aunt?).
  • Tormund and Brienne deserve each-other.
  • Never again Arya. (I think the nude stuff made SM uncomfortable).

TN:

  • What’s to think about? I nailed everything!

B:

  • Quite a few story arcs were wrapped up in this episode.
  • We didn’t see the following characters at all – Cersei, Euron, Yara, Bronn, and The Night King.
  • Jon did a good job explaining his bloodline to Daenarys. She had a very rational take – how does she know that his brother and best friend are telling the truth?
  • Daenarys is obsessed with getting the throne.
  • Sansa is working on a backup plan incase Jon and Daenarys blow it.
  • The Brienne story is exhausted now that she is knighted.
  • They mentioned that the crypts are the safest place in Winterfell way too often this episode.

Episode 3 Predictions

SM:

  • Night King is not at Winterfell – he is going to take out the Golden Company and make them slaves.
  • The Night King speaks in this episode.
  • Cersei has to go ask The North for help.

TN:

  • The Dead rise in the crypts of Winterfell.
  • The good guys win, but barely and it’s very costly (almost decimated).
  • The Night King flies to King’s Landing to create another army.
  • Deaths: Breinne, Podrick, Beric, Ed, Theon, and Jorah

B:

  • The Night King is going to the Crypts first, he is going to raise the dead down there and infiltrate Winterfell that way.
  • Theon redeems himself by protecting Bran.
  • Jamie dies, sacrificing himself for Brienne.
  • Other deaths: The Hound, Eye Patch Guy, Tormund, Podrick, Davos, Gilly, Jorah, and Lyanna.
  • Bronn arrives in Winterfell, just in time to save Tyrion.

How We Fared With Last Week’s Predictions

SM: 0 – 3

  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about their actual relationship. WRONG
  • They kick Jamie out of Winterfell and don’t let him help. WRONG
  • Jamie turns into the new Hodor as he pays his debt to Bran. Undecided
  • One or some of the Dudes who were at Last Hearth get caught by the Night King and are held hostage – but not turned. WRONG
  • Cersei is not pregnant. Undecided
  • We hear the Night King Talk. Undecided

TN: 7 – 0

  • Jon reveals who he is to Daenarys. CORRECT
  • No key deaths this week. CORRECT
  • Brienne gets “Knighted”. CORRECT
  • Ghost makes an appearance. CORRECT
  • Theon arrives in Winterfell. CORRECT
  • Jamie is accepted in Winterfell after Brienne vouches for him. CORRECT
  • The episode is a major lead-up to Episode 3. CORRECT

B: 0 – 1

  • Jamie is about to get kicked out of Winterfell – Bran is able to convince everyone to let him stay. Not Quite
  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about his true identity. WRONG

Jonesing For A Thronesing: Predicting Tonight’s Game Of Thrones Episode (4/21)

We only have a few episodes left, and a lot of loose ends to tie up. I have conferred with our Game of Thrones experts; here are their picks heading into tonight’s episode.

Stormin’ Mormon

Episode 2

  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about their actual relationship.
  • They kick Jamie out of Winterfell and don’t let him help.
  • Jamie turns into the new Hodor as he pays his debt to Bran.
  • One or some of the Dudes who were at Last Hearth get caught by the Night King and are held hostage – but not turned.
  • Cersei is not pregnant.
  • We hear the Night King Talk.

Tommy Nuggets

Episode 2

  • Jon reveals who he is to Daenarys.
  • No key deaths this week.
  • Brienne gets “Knighted”.
  • Ghost makes an appearance.
  • Theon arrives in Winterfell.
  • Jamie is accepted in Winterfell after Brienne vouches for him.
  • The episode is a major lead-up to Episode 3.

Season

  • Arya wins the Throne at the end and she takes her face off to reveal…she was Jagen H’ghar the whole time!!!

Buzz

Episode 2

  • Jamie is about to get kicked out of Winterfell – Bran is able to convince everyone to let him stay.
  • Jon does not tell Daenarys about his true identity.

Season

  • Daenarys dies – everyone is ready to abandon Jon and head back to where they came from. Jon does some big display showing that he now can control the dragons and everyone stands by his side.
  • The only thing the Night King wants is the baby that Sam and Gilly smuggled beyond the wall. That is his purpose for all of this.
  • Only Targaryens can ride dragons – The Night King is the Mad King.

Bohemian Rhapsody? More Like Bohemian CRAPsody

I used to be a big torrent guy. I would download tons of movies and watch them on my laptop. I did not distribute any of those movies. My family grew tired of getting the threatening warnings from internet service providers, so I left that lifestyle behind.

Now I have a guy. I don’t know how I came across him. Based on his name, I believe he is Indian. He has an Indian last name. It could be a made up persona for all I know. Anyways – my guy helps me get movies into my iTunes account for a discounted rate.

I was lucky enough to receive a redemption code for Bohemian Rhapsody on digital release day. I watched the movie. I gave it a few weeks and watched it again yesterday.

My Take

Bohemian Rhapsody is very watchable. It is not a great movie – at all. There are no remarkable performances in the movie. To me there are points in the movie where it looks like I am watching a Saturday Night Live skit where the host – Rami Malek – is playing Freddie Mercury in a fake movie trailer about Queen. Some of his band members don’t even look like actors, they look like they could be lower level SNL cast members. Hell – even Mike Myers shows up.

The wigs are elaborate and obvious. Malek is wearing prosthetic teeth that are ridiculous. I am pretty sure none of the actors are playing their instruments and everyone is lip syncing.

I have seen this movie before. It is literally any music movie biopic. The lead is a lost soul trying to figure out what they want to do with their life. Someone finds out they are good at music. They struggle at first. Then they have their big break. Then something bad happens. Then things get fixed again before the end.

The largest problem with this movie is that I watched it relatively close to when I watched A Star Is Born. It was really hard not to compare the two. Bohemian Rhapsody is full of green screened locations and audiences with lip synced performances; A Star Is Born appears authentic in every way.

Another issue with this movie – Freddie Mercury was a dick. He was shitty to his family. He was pretty horrible to his wife – he continued to try and manipulate her after things ended. He was an asshole to his bandmates, until he found out he had AIDS. They even show him sexually harassing his employee/future partner Jim Hutton and try to frame that as a “meet cute” situation.

The film also makes Queen out to be the saviors of Live Aid. Freddie continuously refers to Live Aid as “the Africa thing” and forces his way into the lineup after ignoring invites for months. Maybe they were the saviors of Live Aid. I don’t know, I wasn’t alive yet.

My last complaint – Queen didn’t end with the Live Aid performance, even though the movie does. Mercury lived until 1991. There are some pretty cool documentaries out there that show Freddie continuing to perform and record music up until a few days before he passed away from an AIDS related illness. If they truly wanted to give us an Oscar-worthy performance, then show that in this movie.

Final Thoughts

The movie was entertaining, but not great. The music is good, I even bought the soundtrack because of the live performances. Will I continue to complain about Bohemian Rhapsody? Probably. Will I watch it again? Probably.

– Buzz

First Man? More Like Worst Man: One Small Step For Man One Waste Of Two Hours For Me


I was so excited to see First Man. I love movies about space. Whether they are biographical or realistic fiction, I tend to buy into whatever it is and enjoy the heck out of it. Interstellar, Apollo 13, Passengers, Life, The Martian, Armageddon; all space movies that I have enjoyed watching in the last few years. To have a movie come out, a biopic, about the first man to walk on the moon (Oh damn, that’s where they got the title from), it is pretty needless to say I was intrigued.

However, this movie was TERRIBLE. I never say that. I will watch pretty much anything made after 1998. I have seen Sahara at least five times and will watch that over and over again. This movie wasn’t even as good as Sahara. Gosling portrayed a depressed man without a personality. I do not even care if that is what Neil Armstrong was like as a person. I don’t want to watch that shit for two hours.

This movie had all of the pieces to be a really enjoyable film. You had the guy from Orange is the New Black with the mustache, Marnie’s first boyfriend from Girls, the bald bad guy from Ant Man, the main guy from the second planet of the apes in the current universe of apes movies, coach from Friday Night Lights (TV Show), and a guy that looks like the yelling army guy from Full Metal Jacket. That is a recipe for a super fun action packed space movie. There should have been fun training montages. There should have been guys goofing around. All of these actors have been enjoyable to watch in some way or another. Instead… we get Gosling moping around.

If you think you might want to watch this movie at some point, don’t do it. You’re in for a few hours of one of the greatest human achievements of all-time being turned into a bummer of a story. Save yourself the trouble, go watch Sahara on TBS.

– Buzz