The Post-Apocalyptic Super Bowl Nightmare-Fuel Doomsday-Scenario That We Are Facing

Imagine if you will – the scariest Super Bowl imaginable.

In the clip above, Owen Wilson is describing an armageddon-inducing meteor. To me – he may as well be describing a Texans vs Packers Super Bowl. With eight teams left in the 2020 NFL playoffs, this is becoming a realistic possibility. We can’t let this happen. I won’t let this happen.

Picture this – Green Bay Packers vs Houston Texans – Super Bowl 54 – Miami – Joe Buck – Troy Aikman – JJ Watt and Aaron Rodgers, mic’d up. Dear God.

I simply refuse to go through two weeks of these two teams at the center of the media spotlight come Super Bowl time. What can we do about this? How do we stop this from happening?

This weekend, I am all in on the Chiefs against the Texans.

And…gulp…I never thought I would say this…let’s hope the Seahawks can take down the Packers.

It is up to Russell Wilson and Patrick Mahomes to stop an Armageddon from happening.

– Buzz

BREAKING: Jason Garrett Will Not Return As Head Coach Of The Dallas Cowboys in 2020 – SOURCE CONFIRMS

The day is finally here. The reign of mediocrity is over in Dallas. Moments ago a source close to the Cowboys confirmed with me that Jason Garrett will not return as the head football coach in 2020.

With JG out, who will “Jer Bear” bring in as the next head coach of America’s team?

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets Decent NFL Games: Week 17

Last week was officially graded as an “ASS” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this final week be any different? Let’s find out.

Merry Christmas – enjoy this low effort blog post. Here are some things to look out for in the games above:

  • The Packers are jockeying for a first round bye against the Lions.
  • If the Chiefs beat the Chargers, and the Patriots lose to the Dolphins – the Chiefs get a first round bye.
  • The Cowboys need to beat the Redskins and have the Eagles lose to the Giants in order to win the NFC East.
  • The Titans clinch a playoff birth with a win over the Texans. If the Texans win and the Chiefs lose – the Texans move up to the #3 seed.
  • If the 49ers beat the Seahawks, they secure the #1 seed in the NFC. If the Seahawks win – they win the NFC West. The Seahawks would need the Packers to lose to get a first round bye. If the Saints and the Packers lose they get the #1 seed.

This is a “decent” NFL schedule for the Portland-Metro area this week.

– Buzz

BREAKING: I BOTCHED THE WEEK 16 NFL TV SCHEDULE

Big time botch job here.

I forgot about the Saturday slate of NFL games. Thanks to my brother for reminding me.

Unfortunately for me – I am too much of a peasant to have NFL Network. Youtube TV doesn’t carry it. I’m too poor for cable. With that in mind – this is still an “ASS” week of NFL action.

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets ASS NFL Games: Week 16

I made a huge mistake last week. I was naive enough to believe that we would actually get the Cowboys-Rams game on TV in the Portland area. Without any heads up – the game was switched to 49ers-Falcons. I really wish FOX had let me know ahead of time, I apologize for the miscue on my end.

Last week was officially graded as an “OK” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this week be any different? Let’s find out.

I am not even going to go into individual game breakdowns this week. This is a prime example of why living in the Seattle Seahawks TV area is trash. The Cowboys and Eagles are playing for the division title Sunday afternoon – yet we get the god damn Seahawks-Cardinals game.

What is the point of flex scheduling for Sunday Night Football if they can’t even get the most important game on the air?

This is an “ASS” NFL schedule for the Portland-Metro area this week.

– Buzz

College Football Rankings: Before The Bowls

Many contributors to Hefty Headlines were invited to participate in our poll before the bowls. Every member of the crew participated.

Hefty Headlines Top 10 Poll: Before the Bowls

Our groups seems to agree with the CFP committee with our top four teams. We have them in the same order too. The Oregon Ducks jumped up to #5 after an impressive win over Utah. Wisconsin and Auburn were able to return to our top 10.

Our top three remains untouched, however, Oklahoma now slides in tied with Georgia at #4. Michigan and Minnesota fall out of the top ten this week, they are replaced by the Oregon Ducks and Baylor Bears.

Voting Trends

Pre Bowl Pick Results

As it stands – Tommy Nuggets is in the lead. Things can change vastly during bowl season, the majority of our pollsters voted to continue to pick for every bowl game. Those picks will come later this week.

Heisman Pick

Previous Weeks

  • Pre-Season: Trevor Lawrence – QB – Clemson
  • Week 1: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 2: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 3: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma AND Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 4: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 5: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 6: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 7: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 8: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 9: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 10: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 11: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 12: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 13: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 14: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 15: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU

Wrap Up

Can Tommy Nuggets be caught by Stormin’ Mormon or Chamby during bowl season?

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets OK NFL Games: Week 15

Last week was officially graded as a “superb” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this week be any different? Let’s find out.

Here is what we have coming up for Week 15:

Ravens @ Jets

How many touchdowns will Lamar Jackson have against the Jets? 4? 5? 6?

The Ravens should destroy the Jets on Thursday night. This is the last Thursday night game of the year – too bad it isn’t a marquee matchup.

Seahawks @ Panthers

I am torn between not wanting to watch the Seahawks and wanting to watch Christian McCaffrey. This is also the only game on in the morning…

Vikings @ Chargers

Kirk Cousins and Philly Rivers? I can’t watch this…or can I?

Rams @ Cowboys

If the Cowboys can come away from this game with a loss they will be able to keep their division lead in the NFC East.

Bills @ Steelers

Why would this game get flexed to Sunday night!? Much better options out there.

Colts @ Saints

Taysom Hill falls into my “Lamar Jackson players I must watch play” category. Go Colts though.

We have ourselves an OK week of NFL action in the Portland Metro Area. The Cowboys are on TV, and we get to watch Lamar Jackson and Taysom Hill.

– Buzz

What If…College Football Playoff Scenarios

The College Football Playoff Committee had a pretty easy job when they announced the top four teams. It was obvious to everyone that LSU, Clemson, Ohio State and Oklahoma would be involved in some way. The only argument was – who gets the #1 seed. I believe they got the order right. Some – Tommy Nuggets – may cry about this for a while. However, LSU was the clear #1 team in the nation.

Obviously, everyone would love a much larger playoff picture. I decided to take a look at what games we could have if the playoff field were to expand.

To keep things consistent, I used the latest CFP rankings to determine seeding:

*Oklahoma State is #25 – it didn’t fit in the screenshot

Six Team Playoff

A six team playoff looks pretty nice. The top two seeds are rewarded with a bye in the opening round. Every Power 5 conference champion gets in, plus one at large team – Georgia. The one thing I do not like about this is that we could see another LSU-Georgia game.

If Georgia and Oregon were to swap places – this would be the ultimate playoff bracket for me. We would avoid another SEC rematch possibility until the championship game.

As it stands with the current format, teams can play an additional two games. This bracket sets up the possibility of a team playing three postseason games.

Eight Team Playoff

I like the opening round games we get in this bracket. Wisconsin comes in as a solid #8 seed, we would see if LSU is the real deal or if the Big 10 is legit. Clemson would get their first true test of the season against #6 Oregon. Ohio State would likely steamroll #7 Baylor to show how weak the Big 12 was this year.

Twelve Team Playoff

This is where things start to look messy. You have the possibility of teams playing an additional four postseason games with this bracket. We are also looking at a number of possible rematches – with Oregon and Utah immediately playing back-to-back games in the opening round. Georgia would play Auburn for a second time this season. Penn State would set up to play Ohio State again with a win – Florida would have a rematch against LSU with a win.

I would LOVE to watch a playoff like this, but many of the games are looking redundant.

For this to work they would need to have the ability to flex the seeding to avoid conference rematches in the opening round. If we swapped Auburn and Utah – we could get a rematch between Oregon and Auburn, along with an interesting Georgia and Utah game.

Sixteen Team Playoff

We get all of the same opening round games that we would get from the twelve team playoff. Rather than awarding a first round bye to the top four seeds, they would play against the 13th-16th ranked teams in the opening round.

This would buy us an interesting game with #13 Alabama against #4 Oklahoma – a game the Crimson Tide would likely win. #15 Notre Dame at #2 Ohio State would give us a classing matchup in the opening round.

The nice thing about this is, if you focus in on Oklahoma – they would have to prove they are for real against SEC competition before making it to the semifinal.

Thirty-Two Team Playoff

#26-#32 were based upon highest vote getters in the AP poll.

This is ridiculous. The two teams in the national championship would play five postseason games.

Final Thoughts

As it stands this season – I think the best playoff format would be a six team playoff. You include all of the Power 5 conference champions and one at large team. You also have an opportunity to reward the two best teams with a first round bye.

As we expand the playoff the games get a little redundant – the regular season would lose too much meaning if you make this thing too big.

What do you think the playoff should look like? Are you happy with the four team format, or would you prefer to expand this thing?

– Buzz

College Football Playoff: Random Observations While I Am Bored At Work

*Conference Champion
  • Only five teams have played in the CFP Championship: Oregon, Ohio State, Clemson, Alabama, and Georgia.
  • No #1 seed or #3 seed has ever won the college football playoff title.
  • Oklahoma has the most appearances without reaching the title game (3). They are also the only team to represent the Big 12 in the playoff.
  • All other Power 5 conferences have sent two members to the playoff.
  • Only two teams have reached the CFP without winning their conference: Alabama (2017) and Ohio State (2016).
  • Alabama (5), Clemson (4), Oklahoma (3) and Ohio State (2) are the only teams to appear in the playoff more than once.
*Rankings from 12/3/19

The current rankings lead me to believe that we will have a couple CFP firsts:

  • LSU can make their first CFP appearance.
  • This will be the first year Alabama is not in the CFP.
  • Utah and Baylor are in position to make their first CFP appearance – with some help.
  • Clemson can tie Alabama for the most CFP appearances (5).
  • Ohio State could be the first Big 10 team to snag the #1 seed.

That’s all for now. Let’s see how things play out this weekend before we get too far ahead of ourselves.

Some of us need to get back to our day job.
– Buzz