2020 UPDATE: Kevin Love And Klay Thompson Ruined My Little League Dreams But Who Is The Better Baseball Player Now?

This is Part 2 in a series of how I am a better baseball player than NBA All-Stars Kevin Love and Klay Thompson. Click below for Part 1 in this series:

Kevin Love And Klay Thompson Ruined My Little League Dreams But Who Is The Better Baseball Player Now?

We are now almost 19 years removed from the game that propelled Kevin Love and Klay Thompson toward NBA stardom – and me to an award winning career as an elementary school teacher.

Of course, I am talking about the District 4 Little League All-Star Championship game between Lake Oswego and Murrayhill in 2001.

The gloves are off at this point. Kevin and Klay have had about a year to respond now, and still nothing. Only crickets. KLAY YOU WERE A NON-FACTOR IN LITTLE LEAGUE DUDE.

The 2019 calendar year has come and gone – providing another opportunity for all three players (Kevin, Klay and myself) to further their baseball careers. So where do we stand – from a purely statistical perspective?

Baseball Statistical Breakdown

The last time we looked at this there was a clear winner – Player 1 dominated every statistical category from 2009-2011 and 2017-2018. Were things similar in 2019?

2019 Season

Across the board Player 1 (me) continued to prove that they are the better athlete and ballplayer through the 2019 season – competing in an incredibly prestigious independent baseball league. Player 2 (Kevin) and Player 3 (Klay) did not even attempt to improve their game – although they do get credit for their consistency.

I hate to toot my own horn – but Kevin and Klay, I’m better than you guys at baseball.

– Buzz

Looking Back: 2019 At Hefty Headlines

This was a big year for us at Hefty Headlines. 2019 was our first year of existence. What started as a hobby and a tool to make my friends laugh – has remained a hobby and a tool to make my friends laugh.

Some people are in the blog game to make money. I am no exception. I have never been a person to brag about myself, but some accomplishments (16 TD senior year of high school) have to be shared. Hefty Headlines received OVER $1 in advertising revenue in 2019.

Inside the Numbers

We had 5,859 unique visitors to Hefty Headlines – viewing the page a total of 11,756 times. We acquired almost two dozen followers on WordPress and four more than a baker’s dozen followers on Twitter.

Hefty Headlines was surprisingly visited from 62 countries – our most frequent visitors were from the United States, Canada, Germany, United Kingdom, Australia and India.

Most Viewed Blogs


Kevin Love And Klay Thompson Ruined My Little League Dreams But Who Is The Better Baseball Player Now?

These two cowards have still not made an official response to this claim.


Pissing Out My Asshole: Diarrhea At Disneyland And My Clash With Kaiser Permanente

My favorite thing I have ever written.


A Guy My Source Talked To Confirmed That The Belichick Era And The Patriots Dynasty Will Come To An End Soon

The source of my source has not been proven correct, yet.


How To Approach Women On Dating Apps – Part 1: Cracking The Code To Finding Your Soulmate

Tips for the fellas.


Fixing the Franchise: The Miami Marlins – Spring Training Through Opening Day 2019

The MLB The Show community on reddit was great for this project, I will continue to do this next season.


Is Alex Dickerson Better Than Mike Trout?

The answer, is yes.


Fixing The Franchise: The San Diego Padres – Spring Training 2019

Same thing with a new team.


Seahawks Preseason Week One Takeaways

Shoutout to @Reaves9.


College Football Overhaul: Conference Realignment

This was fun to work on, this continues to rack in the views.


Reddit User 615huncho615 Absolutely Destroyed Me Today – Is My Head Going To Be Cracked?

I forgot to mention this, I mean to write a blog and it never happened. 61 days after the fact – this guy came at me again.


What Actually Happened To My Cameroomie?

Does anyone know?


BREAKING: Jason Garrett Will Not Return As Head Coach Of The Dallas Cowboys in 2020 – SOURCE CONFIRMS

The national media still has not caught up with us.

What’s Next?

I have no idea. I will keep plugging along and see what we can make this thing. Comment below if there is anything you’d like to see from HH in 2020.

– Buzz

BREAKING: Jason Garrett Will Not Return As Head Coach Of The Dallas Cowboys in 2020 – SOURCE CONFIRMS

The day is finally here. The reign of mediocrity is over in Dallas. Moments ago a source close to the Cowboys confirmed with me that Jason Garrett will not return as the head football coach in 2020.

With JG out, who will “Jer Bear” bring in as the next head coach of America’s team?

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets Decent NFL Games: Week 17

Last week was officially graded as an “ASS” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this final week be any different? Let’s find out.

Merry Christmas – enjoy this low effort blog post. Here are some things to look out for in the games above:

  • The Packers are jockeying for a first round bye against the Lions.
  • If the Chiefs beat the Chargers, and the Patriots lose to the Dolphins – the Chiefs get a first round bye.
  • The Cowboys need to beat the Redskins and have the Eagles lose to the Giants in order to win the NFC East.
  • The Titans clinch a playoff birth with a win over the Texans. If the Texans win and the Chiefs lose – the Texans move up to the #3 seed.
  • If the 49ers beat the Seahawks, they secure the #1 seed in the NFC. If the Seahawks win – they win the NFC West. The Seahawks would need the Packers to lose to get a first round bye. If the Saints and the Packers lose they get the #1 seed.

This is a “decent” NFL schedule for the Portland-Metro area this week.

– Buzz


Big time botch job here.

I forgot about the Saturday slate of NFL games. Thanks to my brother for reminding me.

Unfortunately for me – I am too much of a peasant to have NFL Network. Youtube TV doesn’t carry it. I’m too poor for cable. With that in mind – this is still an “ASS” week of NFL action.

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets ASS NFL Games: Week 16

I made a huge mistake last week. I was naive enough to believe that we would actually get the Cowboys-Rams game on TV in the Portland area. Without any heads up – the game was switched to 49ers-Falcons. I really wish FOX had let me know ahead of time, I apologize for the miscue on my end.

Last week was officially graded as an “OK” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this week be any different? Let’s find out.

I am not even going to go into individual game breakdowns this week. This is a prime example of why living in the Seattle Seahawks TV area is trash. The Cowboys and Eagles are playing for the division title Sunday afternoon – yet we get the god damn Seahawks-Cardinals game.

What is the point of flex scheduling for Sunday Night Football if they can’t even get the most important game on the air?

This is an “ASS” NFL schedule for the Portland-Metro area this week.

– Buzz

College Football Rankings: Before The Bowls

Many contributors to Hefty Headlines were invited to participate in our poll before the bowls. Every member of the crew participated.

Hefty Headlines Top 10 Poll: Before the Bowls

Our groups seems to agree with the CFP committee with our top four teams. We have them in the same order too. The Oregon Ducks jumped up to #5 after an impressive win over Utah. Wisconsin and Auburn were able to return to our top 10.

Our top three remains untouched, however, Oklahoma now slides in tied with Georgia at #4. Michigan and Minnesota fall out of the top ten this week, they are replaced by the Oregon Ducks and Baylor Bears.

Voting Trends

Pre Bowl Pick Results

As it stands – Tommy Nuggets is in the lead. Things can change vastly during bowl season, the majority of our pollsters voted to continue to pick for every bowl game. Those picks will come later this week.

Heisman Pick

Previous Weeks

  • Pre-Season: Trevor Lawrence – QB – Clemson
  • Week 1: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 2: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 3: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma AND Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 4: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 5: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 6: Jalen Hurts – QB – Oklahoma
  • Week 7: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 8: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 9: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 10: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 11: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 12: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 13: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 14: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU
  • Week 15: Joe Burrow – QB – LSU

Wrap Up

Can Tommy Nuggets be caught by Stormin’ Mormon or Chamby during bowl season?

– Buzz

The Portland Metro Area Gets OK NFL Games: Week 15

Last week was officially graded as a “superb” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this week be any different? Let’s find out.

Here is what we have coming up for Week 15:

Ravens @ Jets

How many touchdowns will Lamar Jackson have against the Jets? 4? 5? 6?

The Ravens should destroy the Jets on Thursday night. This is the last Thursday night game of the year – too bad it isn’t a marquee matchup.

Seahawks @ Panthers

I am torn between not wanting to watch the Seahawks and wanting to watch Christian McCaffrey. This is also the only game on in the morning…

Vikings @ Chargers

Kirk Cousins and Philly Rivers? I can’t watch this…or can I?

Rams @ Cowboys

If the Cowboys can come away from this game with a loss they will be able to keep their division lead in the NFC East.

Bills @ Steelers

Why would this game get flexed to Sunday night!? Much better options out there.

Colts @ Saints

Taysom Hill falls into my “Lamar Jackson players I must watch play” category. Go Colts though.

We have ourselves an OK week of NFL action in the Portland Metro Area. The Cowboys are on TV, and we get to watch Lamar Jackson and Taysom Hill.

– Buzz

What If…College Football Playoff Scenarios

The College Football Playoff Committee had a pretty easy job when they announced the top four teams. It was obvious to everyone that LSU, Clemson, Ohio State and Oklahoma would be involved in some way. The only argument was – who gets the #1 seed. I believe they got the order right. Some – Tommy Nuggets – may cry about this for a while. However, LSU was the clear #1 team in the nation.

Obviously, everyone would love a much larger playoff picture. I decided to take a look at what games we could have if the playoff field were to expand.

To keep things consistent, I used the latest CFP rankings to determine seeding:

*Oklahoma State is #25 – it didn’t fit in the screenshot

Six Team Playoff

A six team playoff looks pretty nice. The top two seeds are rewarded with a bye in the opening round. Every Power 5 conference champion gets in, plus one at large team – Georgia. The one thing I do not like about this is that we could see another LSU-Georgia game.

If Georgia and Oregon were to swap places – this would be the ultimate playoff bracket for me. We would avoid another SEC rematch possibility until the championship game.

As it stands with the current format, teams can play an additional two games. This bracket sets up the possibility of a team playing three postseason games.

Eight Team Playoff

I like the opening round games we get in this bracket. Wisconsin comes in as a solid #8 seed, we would see if LSU is the real deal or if the Big 10 is legit. Clemson would get their first true test of the season against #6 Oregon. Ohio State would likely steamroll #7 Baylor to show how weak the Big 12 was this year.

Twelve Team Playoff

This is where things start to look messy. You have the possibility of teams playing an additional four postseason games with this bracket. We are also looking at a number of possible rematches – with Oregon and Utah immediately playing back-to-back games in the opening round. Georgia would play Auburn for a second time this season. Penn State would set up to play Ohio State again with a win – Florida would have a rematch against LSU with a win.

I would LOVE to watch a playoff like this, but many of the games are looking redundant.

For this to work they would need to have the ability to flex the seeding to avoid conference rematches in the opening round. If we swapped Auburn and Utah – we could get a rematch between Oregon and Auburn, along with an interesting Georgia and Utah game.

Sixteen Team Playoff

We get all of the same opening round games that we would get from the twelve team playoff. Rather than awarding a first round bye to the top four seeds, they would play against the 13th-16th ranked teams in the opening round.

This would buy us an interesting game with #13 Alabama against #4 Oklahoma – a game the Crimson Tide would likely win. #15 Notre Dame at #2 Ohio State would give us a classing matchup in the opening round.

The nice thing about this is, if you focus in on Oklahoma – they would have to prove they are for real against SEC competition before making it to the semifinal.

Thirty-Two Team Playoff

#26-#32 were based upon highest vote getters in the AP poll.

This is ridiculous. The two teams in the national championship would play five postseason games.

Final Thoughts

As it stands this season – I think the best playoff format would be a six team playoff. You include all of the Power 5 conference champions and one at large team. You also have an opportunity to reward the two best teams with a first round bye.

As we expand the playoff the games get a little redundant – the regular season would lose too much meaning if you make this thing too big.

What do you think the playoff should look like? Are you happy with the four team format, or would you prefer to expand this thing?

– Buzz